Volcanicast for the Week Ending 2010/03/26
Volcanicast March 30th, 2010
In our annual April Fool’s Day show, we make crap up about actresses, dancers, and murderers… just to name a few.
SHOW NOTES
Week Ending March 26th, 2010
Introduction
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Facebook http://volcanicast.com/facebook
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
Twitter @Volcanicasting
What Are We Drinking?
April Fool’s Show
March 20 2010 (SAT)
- As Sea World has lots of orcas called Shamu
- - (And one called Chuck Tompkins)
- So the San Diego Zoo has lots of pandas
- - The male on display at any given time is named Ting Ting.
- Actually, it’s a music duo
- Why now?
- - They were on a repeat of SNL
10. outstanding in the field (A “Roving Culinary Adventure”. Tickets went on sale, but glitches kept people from buying)
7. st. mary s university (Beat Villanova)
Related Term: 8.saint mary s college
6. butler university (Beat Murray State)
5. ncaa bracket update 2010 (Some teams won. Some lost.)
4. laura hall (FOTS, aided a murderer in leaving the country. On 48 Hours Mystery)
3. northern iowa (Beat #1 seed Kansas City in a big upset)
Related Term: 9.ali farokhmanesh
2. bryan brothers (SAM)
- entropurners that invent things.
- and like to pattent almost anything they think of.
- Most known for the Flowbe in the late 80’s.
- Live in giant mansions next to eachother in florida.
- Well, not really.
- The roomba people have been reported to be trying to invent this.
1. larry pearson (Racer. Crashed. Is injured)
March 21 2010 (SUN)
19. nathan deal (Voted “No” on health care, then resigned)
16. little kids big difference (I don’t know what it is, but it was on Extreme Home Makeover)
14. shannon tweed breast cancer (Gene Simmons’ wife or girlfriend. He has a TV show now. Did you know that? I didn’t)
12. herschend family entertainment (Entertainment park owners. Unknown why now)
10. margaret moth (BOB) ( I hate bob- Sam)
- A rare species of moth
- - This is actually what the “worm” in a bottle of Mezcal would mature into
- - - Feeds on the agave plant
- - It’s a misconception that tequilas contain a worm in the bottle
- - - Tequila is a Mezcal of only blue agave that can only be produced in the Mexican state of Jalisco
- - - - While only certain Mezcals are sold con gusano, and most of these from the state of Oaxaca
- Why now?
- - Actually, it’s a bit of a bummer
- - - Margaret Moth is the name of a photojournalist, born in New Zealand
- - - - Who died at age 59
- - - - - Of colon cancer
- - - - - - After having recovered from being shot in the face while filming in Sarajevo during the violence there
9. peachtree road race 2010 registration (It was today. Hope you signed up)
7. terri schiavo (On Family Guy)
5. tyne daly (Lacey of “Cagney and Lacey.” Unknown why now)
4. gsi commerce (Undercover Boss)
Related Term: 18.michael rubin gsi
3. hr 3590 (The health care bill that passed)
Related Terms: 15.healthcare bill summary; 13.what does the health care bill mean to me; 11.who voted for health care bill; 6.hr 4872
2. fire nancy pelosi (Michael Steele’s newest idea to remain in the news)
Related Terms: 20.gop; 8.michael steele
1. baby killer (SAM)
- downstate NY serial killer.
- Been sneaking into daycares and hospitals.
- She completly looks the part of a nurse or social worker.
- Up until she has either taken the baby or has sufficated the baby in the crib.
- Why now?
- No…really it was yelled during a heath care debate.
- They have moved on from the grandmother’s being killed to the next generations next generation.
March 22 2010 (MON)
1. randy neugebauer (From previous day, #1 yesterday)
8. nit bracket 2010 update (Something similar to ncaa brackets. I lost the ability to care)
7. shannen doherty (BOB)
- Actress
- - Possibly best known for her role in Charmed
- - - Or in Kevin Smith’s Mallrats
- - - - She also did some rich-kids-problems show that helped launch the Fox network
- Why now?
- - She’s on Dancing With the Stars
5. hot carl (WES)
- Pro Wrestler from the 80s
- - Wore brown face paint and a pink skin-tight leotard.
- - His signature move involved pinning his opponent to the mat with his feet on his opponent’s shoulders, and squatting over his opponent’s face.
- - His arch nemesis, Dirty Sanchez, had a similar move that culminated in a two-finger swipe under his opponent’s nose.
- Why now?
- - A where are they now type special on ESPN 8 (The Ocho) looked into the past few decades of Carl’s life.
- - After overcoming a pain medication addiction in 1992, Carl went to college.
- - He never graduated, however, and these days is driving a bus in South Detroit.
4. edyta sliwinska (SAM)
- Apparently a mail order bride from Russia.
- Who refused to consumate the marrage.
- And she refused to go.
- So he called immigration on her.
- Why now?
- He won, she got sent home and he got fined from Immigration.
- No?…Ok. she is the blond dancer on Dancing with the stars..
- the one with legs to Canada.
3. star jones heart surgery (It happened)
2. sharon tay (Journalist. Former host on MSNBC. Unknown why now)
March 23 2010 (TUE)
10. hot carl (From previous day)
12. htc evo (WES)
- HTC is a medical condition, “Hugemongous Testicle Condition”
- Evo is - of course - Evo Terra.
- - Podcaster
- - Founder of Podiobooks.com
- - Friend of two of our ex hosts.
- - - Not that I don’t consider him a friend. I’ve just not met him.
- Anyway, why now?
- - Well, I don’t want to spread any rumors, so I’ll leave it up to your imaginations.
- - Also, there was a new phone released by a company with the initials HTC.
- - Apparently, they named it “The Evo”
- - - So there may have been some crossover searches that helped propel this to Volcanic status.
8. mithra (Something. I don’t know. Draft it if you’re curious)
7. joe biden f bomb (WES)
- So the Health Care Bill passed.
- - Maybe you heard about it.
- Joe Biden, being Vice President of these here United States, had the privilege of introducing the actual President, Barack Obama during the speech about the bill’s passage.
- - As he stepped from the podium and the President stepped on, Biden chose this moment to whisper loudly into Obama’s ear - and the mic - “This is a big fucking deal”
- - - As if Obama didn’t know it.
- - - But now, at least, we all know it too.
- As an amusing aside, the Fox website - in the middle of the story about this - dropped in that Fidel Castro approves of the bill-that-is-now-law.
- - Because if a commie likes it, it has to be bad.
6. crazy little thing called love (Song. Sung on AI)
5. cynthia shackelford (SAM)
Related Term: 9.wife sues mistress
- A happy housewife in NC.
- well, not so happy.
- So she decided to sue the mistress for Alienation of Affection.
- the Mistress didn’t even bother to show up in court.
- So the $5 mil awarded for compensation and the $4 mil awarded in punative is now being disputed by the mistress.
- However, NC has a state law saying you can sue the third party if they interfer in the marrage.
- this time I didn’t make it up!
- Not even I could make one up better than this!
4. st vrain valley school district (Closing due to snow)
3. andre pitre (Musician. No clue why now)
2. mf global (Company. Got a new CEO)
1. when a man loves a woman lyrics (Someone sang it on AI)
- 1 from Crazy Nutso
- - houseofwesley.com
- 1 from Hooters
Voice Mail (216-925-4263)
- 1 from Drew
Anouncements
- Ending the show
- Write/call/Skype in for next week’s grand finale show
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Facebook http://volcanicast.com/facebook
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
Twitter @Volcanicasting
What Are We Drinking Now?
March 24 2010 (WED)
- Patrick, one of the Biggest loosers contestants was eliminated then sent home.
- And hired a personal trainer.
- this trainer managed to whip Patrick into shape better than the trainers on the show.
- And Patrick ended up winning the at home catagory and also posted numbers bigger than those that sweated on national TV.
- Everyone wanted to know who the trainer was.
- No?
- Ok. this was a guy that was found dead in a submerged vehicle.
11. jesse james mistresses (Why stop at one?)
10. dwight gooden (Former baseball player. Arrested for DUI)
9. catcher in the rye (Book. On South Park)
8. casey reinhardt (Actress, going to be in her brother’s reality show)
7. judge doom (WES)
- Main antagonist in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
- - Played by Christopher Lloyd
- - - Of Taxi and Back to the Future fame.
- - Based very losely on a nazi judge named Roland Freisler.
- - I am a pretty big fan of the movie, dispite having only seen it - in full - only once.
- - - And that was in a theater with horrible sound so I couldn’t always tell what the cartoons were saying.
- Why now?
- - I don’t know, and don’t feel like making it up. The movie didn’t appear to be on and the topic is associated - in Google Trends - with Health Care.
- - So I’m gonna say Fox News said that Judge Doom - like Fidel Castro - approves of it.
- - - Big Fucking Deal.
6. bluefly (On America’s Next Top Model)
5. lyrebird (BOB)
- A bird
- - Curiously in the shape of a stringed musical instrument similar to a harp
- - - Which has long since gone out of favor
- - - - It was strummed, like a guitar, rather than plucked like the modern harp
- - - - - With the other hand used to mute strings not part of the desired chord
- That’s bologna
- - It is a bird, though
- - - So named because of its ability to mimic human speech
- - - - And other sounds in their environment
- - - Native to Australian I wonder where that is? -Samantha O 3/29/10 5:56 PM
- - - Ground-dwelling and exotically plumed
- - - A group of them is called a musket
- Why now?
- - No idea
- - - So we’ll go with:
- - - - Two men were lured off a cliff to their deaths in Australia
- - - - - Chasing what they believed to have been a woman screaming for help
- - - - - - But actually turned out to be a lyrebird
4. madea s big happy family (A play. Going on tour)
3. wikipedia down (WES)
- Wikipedia is a web based, collaborative encyclopedia.
- - Maybe you’ve heard of it.
- - We use it, sometimes exclusively, for our research here on Volcanicast.
- Down is a state of being.
- - It is the opposite of up.
- Why now?
- - Wikipedia went down.
- - - An overheating at a European data center.
- - - Normally, those requests would be automatically rerouted to another data center in Florida.
- - - - However, the server in charge of routing was among those overheated.
- - It was only down for a couple hours, and it came back up with no problems.
- - - But people were ascared that they couldn’t do their research papers.
2. the shocker (WES)
- FOTS from the week ending July 25th, 2008.
- - Kris had it, if that helps you see how long ago it was.
- - He discussed the Spider Man villain.
- - - I won’t.
- The official name of the sexual technique more descriptively entitled “Two in the pink, one in the stink”
- - Also the more tame version of what I - on this very show - named “The Claw”
- - - Picture in the show notes.
- Anyway, why now?
- - In 2008, Kris said “Damn fine question”
- - - I will reiterate that.
1. robert culp (BOB)
- Actor
- - I knew him best as Bill Maxwell on The Greatest American Hero
- - - But he first found widespread fame as secret agent Kelly Robinson on the NBC hit I Spy
- - - - With costar Bill Cosby
- - - - - With whom he’d have a long friendship
- - - In all, he had a 50-year career in TV and movies
- - - - But mostly TV
- Why now?
- - He died
- - - Apparently following a fall at his Los Angeles home
- - - - He was 79
March 25 2010 (THU)
5. butler university (From previous day, #6 on Saturday)
Related Terms: 11.brad stevens; 9.butler bulldogs
12. toktumi (Allows 2 lines on an iPhone, giving it actual phone functionality)
10. beyonce pregnant (She is. Or isn’t. I don’t care)
8. autistic kid with perfect bracket (WES)
- These are NCAA brackets.
- - More commonly referred to as “March Madness” brackets.
- - All over the country, people fill out these brackets hoping to win dozens of dollars in office pools.
- - - You’d think that, on occasion, someone would get them all right.
- - - - However, it is EXTREMELY difficult to do so.
- - - - - Picking randomly, you have about a one in a ten QUINTILLION chance of getting all 63 games right.
- - - - - - That’s a one with 19 zeroes after it.
- - - - - - If you add the first single-playoff game (64 total) you have to double that to 20 QUINTILLION.
- - - - - - You have a better chance of winning your state’s lottery.
- - - - - - - TWICE.
- So why now?
- - After the end of the 2nd round, this kid had a perfect bracket.
- - - 2nd round is not the entire tournament, of course.
- - - - But it is the bulk of it. Of the 63 games, he had already called 48 of them.
- - - - - The odds of that? one in about 300 TRILLION.
- - - - - - Or slightly less than the odds of winning your state’s lottery twice.
- - - - - - - But only just. One more correct game and he’d be over.
- - So everybody was asking, could he go all the way?
- - - No. In the next round, he had Syracuse beating Butler.
- - - - Which didn’t happen.
- - - - - There were probably more but I’d have to care more about basketball than I do to know them.
6. johnny maestro (SAM)
- A great tenor singer frm WAY back.
- Started out in a band in the 60’s called the Crests which produced the hit 16 candles.
- Then went to a band called the Bridges that appeared on the Ed Sullivan show.
- Why now?
- Passed away at age 70 from cancer.
- Used as s title of respect.
- I think it’s cool that he was known for his great voice and his last name was Maestro.
4. kendall berry (College football player. Stabbed. Died)
3. gw admissions activity center (George Washington University. Unknown why now)
2. we use coupons (Website. Guess what for)
1. dame edna (Performer. On Broadway. Danced to “Single Ladies”)
March 26 2010 (FRI)
6. mennonites (BOB)
- Amish light
- - Actually, I’ve always had it backwards
- - - I thought the Mennonites were a less restrictive sect of Amish
- - - - But it turns out the Amish thought their fellow Mennonites weren’t doing enough to separate themselves from the world and split
- - Mennonites range in practice from being indistinguishable from their fellow citizens in terms of dress and technology to the more recognizable “plain people”
- Why now?
- - 9 members of the Mennonite Esh family were killed when the van they were travelling in was struck by a truck which had crossed the median on I-65 in Kentucky
- - - Also killed were the truck driver and a friend of the family
5. rachel feinstein (BOB)
- American comedien and hottie
- - Native of Washington, DC
- - - Daughter to a civil rights lawyer and a blues musician
- Why now?
- - On Comedy Central Presents
3. ben 10 ultimate alien (New show on Cartoon Network)
2. gilbert arenas (SAM)
Related Term: 4.halfway house
- A whole bunch of Arenas being rebuilt in the new Orleans/Tx area.
- In the whole rebuilt from Hurricane katrina.
- Named after a little boy who drowned accidently after making it out of the huirricane.
- Why now?
- The money was released to fund this building project.
- No?
- Ok. he is a basketball player who apparently likes to play with guns.
1. anna vincenzo s ristorante italiano (On Kitchen Nightmares)
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Facebook http://volcanicast.com/facebook
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
Twitter @Volcanicasting
Explicit Warning if missed
* The Volcanipedia entry is teh up.
* http://www.crazynutso.com/volcanipedia/tiki-index.php?page=Week+Ending+March+26+2010
* Can’t believe no one took ‘Castle Spoilers’ on a show where YOU MAKE THINGS UP! Sheesh.
** Here’s one for you, this week’s show has a Jayne line in it.
* How long will Volcanipedia remain up? Let me check . . .166 days.
Holy crap, I’m behind. I’m listening to last week’s epidode. Crazy Nutso Sam sandwich. Nuff said.
P-b-P:
* Not jokes. Lies.
* We did not imply we needed to see if Bob was telling the truth. We implied instead that we already knew.
* You just gotta pinch it.
* We may have planned the timing of the announcement. Maybe.
* The squeaks are Bob’s chair. The good news is you’ve only got one more week to hear it.
* If you don’t think that we’ll get feedback, you should email us at volcanicast@gmail.com to tell us why. Or call us at 216-925-4263.
@ Hooters - Don’t forget Sean, after all, he’s the meat.
@ Wes
* I refer to them as ‘Jokes’ because it was an April Fools show. And, like April Fools jokes, none of them were funny.
* So that’s how you make shows.
* Well, if it’s a ‘joke’, it’s not funny. Which is totally appropriate. You had me until you said both C(K)ris would be back for the ‘final’ show. Those guys have WAY better things to do then this nonsense.
* Bob needs to be nailed down.
* I’m sure you’ll get almost as much feedback as you normally get.
* Sam won’t mind if I drop the kid off at her place, will she? I can’t take a kid into a dive like that, after all.
* Anyhow, it’s good the show is ending, then I don’t have to feel guilty about not renewing my web hosting.
* If people are looking for GOOD podcasts to listen to, try:
** http://www.smodcast.com - Not one but THREE podcasts from Kevin Smith and friends. More to come (supposedly) Even less ‘all-ages’ then this show.
** http://www.cayenne.libsyn.com/ TEKDIFF - fun sketch comedy show. He also does an audio drama type story. Kinda like the Pulp Audio stuff, but more fantasy then sci-fi, and also entertaining. (I KEED)
** Sonic Society. . . yeah, you know it, you love it. Except maybe for the ad. Or the rating system they’re pushing.
All right, I’m almost caught up. Listening to the latest now.
- Yes, I bought an extended warranty and they did cover my repairs. I only had to pay my $200 deductible.
Actually, Firestone made the phone calls to work it out for us, so that was AWESOME!
- Bobby K is a director friend of Mr. Hooters from his community theater days.
- Sadly, I do not have a freezer light either.
* My freezer is below the refrigerator, and totally slides out. It is teh awesome!
* But have they shown you Sean’s ‘Hooters’ pic yet?
* I’m suppose to be doing one of the following projects:
** Paint the shed. Apparently particle board isn’t a good exterior wood.
** Plant things. Like one of those dumb upside down hanging tomato things you see on TV. Except I’m going to plant
hempCUCUMBERS. MMM Cucumbers.** Convert the top bunk from a bunk bed into a table. (Because children over a certain size can no longer use the top bunk.)
** Fertilize the lawn. Yeah, like I want to encourage that crap to grow.
** Seed the lawn. (See above. Although I would be using the same spreader I use for the salt. . .)
** Rearrange furniture in living room. (Why can’t gals ever be happy with things the way they are?)
** Add even more inane comments to the comment section here, so people won’t realize what a favor Sam is doing for them by killing this show.
** Reveal Castle spoilers: Wash dies.
@Crazy_Nutso: You hit the spam filter with your two-link post. I’ve approved the comment.
I gotta get ready for work so I can’t comment fully, but TekDiff is one of my very favorite podcasts. Smodcast is (was?) a pay-to-listen thing so I never bothered.
* Smodcast is, was and ever shall be (according to Kevin Smith) free for everyone except him. Which is why he got a sponsor. FLeshlight. ‘Nuff said.
* If someone tried to charge you for SModcast, they were ripping you off.
* I sent in an idea for TekDiff’s ‘audience participation show’, but I have no idea if he’ll use it or not.
Spam filter? Damn right I hit that!
* I was mistaken. It is (was, whatever) Ricky Gervais’ podcast that charged, per download or per month. I mixed the two up in my mind because they are both done by “actually famous” people and I’ve listened to neither.
* I didn’t say “Sam Filter”
* * Or “Sam Fisher”
* * * You sicko
Okay, I was going to wait until April 1st to make this comment just to confuse people more, and if we had 2 more shows I probably would have, but time’s too tight. So I’m going to say it now: We really, truly are quitting the show. Next week’s show is with 100% certainty the final episode of Volcanicast. There could be sporadic things placed in the feed (Though other than announcing the new show we’re going to do, I can’t think of anything we WOULD put in the feed) but, about a week from now, I will upload the last file entitled “Volcanicast” and that’ll be it.
.
That said, Bob and I ARE planning several things. We have the skeleton of a new show that we’re fleshing out (can you flesh out a skeleton? I don’t know) and - after maybe a well deserved week off - we will start it up. There will be less topics, the topics will fit into some sort of theme (so far “general geekery” is the basic theme), and we’ll discuss them more fully.
.
This has been a good run, but all good things must come to an end. For some reason that also counts for Volcanicast.
* Well, then. Sean better hit me up for Sam’s e-mail address (assuming she hasn’t changed it) and phone number before it’s too late.
* Man, and I was all prepared to feel really stupid when you said you were just kidding.
* Looking forward to any future shows, although if there’s no Sam, there’s really no point, now is there?
* I still want the part of Emma in any renewed Stargate Cafe.
* I’ll probably use the extra time for nothing in particular.
* Since there will be no Hooters page, here is the link.
** It seems to suit her personality.
That picture is awesome.
I think it perfectly describes her, to be honest.
Care to explain??
You combine the elements of a hyperactive child in a Toys R us with one of the Hooters girls? I dunno, it made sense when I selected it.
I’ve gotta go with CN on this one, Hooters. I thought, “Yep, that’s her,” when I saw it.
I would like to step in to defend Hooters’ honor, or character, or whatever.
.
But given your Volcanicast name, I would be hard pressed to pick two randomish things that together better describe you.
Man, with friends like these. . .
What are you talking about. I’ve got the best friends EVER!!!
Dude your website just yelled at me. It said I posted my comments too quickly :oP
The only other ‘Hooters’ image (aside from Sean’s, of course) I would have come up with would have been classic ‘Daffy Duck’. To explain, since some people are sadly deprived of classic Warner Brother’s cartoons, the original version of Daffy (I’m thinking of his first appearance, circa ‘Porky’s Duck Hunt’) basically jumped all around yelling ‘WHOO HOO’. Probably you had to be there…
… and let me take a moment to scoff at Bob’s hippy-dippy bullshit about .coms.
*
* First of all, do you honestly think the internet would exist in its current form if someone hadn’t figured a way to make money off it? No, it’d just be a bunch of tech nerds trading porn with a bunch of other nerds. And being that that still happens on a regular basis, I don’t see how anything has been ‘ruined’.
*
* Also, protesting .com by purchasing .net or .org from THE SAME PERSON WHO SELLS .com is a retarded form of ‘protest’. That would be like protesting the Republican party by purchasing a ‘I hate Republicans’ T-shirt from the RNC.
*
* I have a .com. Am I evil? (Yes, I am)
*
* PLEASE tell me you got that ref. Seriously.
*Can I go be emo and slit my wrists now?
*I need to be held.
*whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wasn’t protesting dot com at all. I’ve got no problem with dot com, but as my personal domains are not money-making endeavors, dot com doesn’t seem to be the correct TLD. I am mildly perturbed about the fact that it is assumed by so many that dot com is the only TLD, to the extent that I’ve had websites reject my email address because it didn’t end in dot com, but that’s a battle long since lost.
That is all.