Explicit Warning
Week Ending January 22nd, 2010
Introduction
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia

What Are We Drinking?

13.     mary lynn rajskub (From previous week, undraftable)

6.     pants on the ground original video (From previous week, undraftable)

5.     hotel montana news (Regarding Haiti, undraftable)

3.     grease monkey wipes (From previous week, undraftable)
20.     house of bones (2010 TV-movie, on SyFy)
18.     flea flicker (BOB)
- A play in organized football
- - Used to deceive the defense into covering what is ostensibly a running play
- - - By handing off, or passing laterally, the ball to another player, the defense is drawn away from the quarterback and receivers

- - - - The ball is then flicked back to the quarterback who throws the ball downfield

- - - The play is a high-risk option

- - - - Since it takes more time to develop than a typical offensive play, the defense has more opportunity to break through the offensive line and stop it

- - - - - It typically will result in a big gain, a turnover, or a big loss

- - - - Despite this, it will appear several times in a typical NFL season

- Why now?

- - It appeared in the post-season

- - - The New Orleans Saints pulled one off against the Arizona Cardinals on 1st and 10 at midfield during divisional playoffs

- - - - The result was a Saints touchdown

17.     jimmy buffett tickets (BOB)
- American singer, songwriter, author, businessman, and now a movie producer
- - Best known for the song “Margaritaville” and the island escapism lifestyle
- - Also involved in two restaurant chains, “Cheeseburger in Paradise” and “Margaritaville”
- - At various times has been shot at by Jamaican authorities who believed him to be smuggling drugs aboard his airplane
- - - And thrown out of a pro basketball game for swearing}
- - Despite a friendship with financier Warren Buffett
- - - There’s no familiar relation
- Why now?
- - Tickets went on sale for the last of his Summerzcool concert tour shows
- - - And sold out almost immediately
16.     alexander pechurski (Hockey prospect. Discussed somewhere)
15.     matt leinart (Cardinals QB, played)
12.     grady wilson (SNL character, sketch about an old guy making a sex tape)
11.     element bars (FOTS, On Shark Tank rerun or reunion show)
9.     family watch dog (SAM)
- Actually fots from 01/16/2009 and 03/13/2009.
- The correct website is www.familywatchdog.us.
- If you use .com they want you to pay $10. THe .us is the actual free site.

- Here are Wes’s notes.
- Website where you can see who in your neighborhood is a rapist, sexual batterer, child molester, or an ominous “Other”
- - Complete with Google Maps interface.
- I looked in my area to see where the sickos live.
- - Living right near me, a “Get off my lawn” type old man was convicted of “Other” according to the map.
- - I clicked on his icon and found he was arrested for “Gross Sexual Imposition”
- - - I read about it, and the best I can boil it down to is “Rape Light”
- - - Touching without permission
- - - Forcing sex without physical force (blackmail, coercion)
- - - Sex with someone who is incapable of giving consent (Mentally deficient, drunk past sensible, senility)
- - - The person is under 13 years old (!)
- Anyway, why then?
- - On January 1, the website teamed up with the Visual Analytics Real-Time Data Center.
- - From the best I can tell, the two can provide sex offender information to police officers instantly.
- - I assume it hit the news and TV and all that, around 7pm today.
- Why now?
- There are absolutely no news articles for this.
- Just 4 blogs that mention it going volcanic.
- Must be news time again.
8.     american orient express (WES)
- FOTS FTWE November 17th, 2007; April 18, 2008; July 25, 2008; January 23, 2009; April 24, 2009
- - That’s right, this is the 6th time we’ve taken this.
- My notes the last time sucked:
- It’s a poorly-named train that offers luxury journeys.
- - We never know the Why Now.
- Why then?
- - I don’t know, but as this is the 5th time this has hit the Googles on our watch, I’m plonking it in the “Autoskip” bin.
- - I’m pulling this from the Autoskip bin for 2 reasons:
- - - 1) We don’t have an Autoskip bin any more.
- - - 2) I know the Why Now!
- Why now?
- - After having been bought (Which I suspect was at least one of the Why Nows in the past) and then shut down (probably another why now) by GrandLuxe Railways, The AOE has been re-opened.
- - - The rail line, which seems to cater to the 50-plus crowd, sells week-long journeys from anywhere from $300 to $4000.
- - - - Budget, First Class, Deluxe, Luxury (In that order)
- - - - - Gives all new meaning to “First Class”
7.     reggie bush and kim kardashian (OMG OMG OMG)
4.     qwest field (In Seattle. Having a boat show?)
2.     clinton bush haiti fund (To donate)
Related Terms: 19.haiti earthquake victims; 14.haiti for christ; 10.red cross donation haiti
1.     ting tings (Band. On SNL)

20.     jason reitman (Won a Golden Globe)
19.     jennifer aniston and gerard butler (OMG they’re dating! Gerennifer?)
18.     james cameron wife (Ex-wife actually, he mentioned her in his speech)
17.     jeremy abbott (Figure skater, won his second straight US title)
16.     brett favre pants on the ground (He performed it after a win?)
13.     good burger (1997 movie. Apparently mentioned at the Golden Globes)
12.     julianna margulies (Won a Golden Globe)
Related Term: 14.keith lieberthal
11.     how old is cher (63. At the Golden Globes)
10.     michael c hall sick (Star of Dexter. Won a Golden Globe)
9.     shutter island (New film, coming out next month)
Related Term: 15.martin scorsese films
5.     mary streep (Real name of Meryl Streep, who was at the Golden Globes)

4.     american samoa (SAM)
- Technically FOTS week ending 10/02/2009.
- Here are my notes from then.
- - This is a group of Islands that the USA and Germany kind of divided and split when they were out splitting the world.
- The US portion is about the size of DC.
- Highest point is still under 1000k meters with most more sea level.
- Poses a problem with big waves and swollen tides.
- One of the main resources is pumice.
- a kinda by produce of all the volcanic activity.

3.     jeff bridges movies (He won a Golden Globe)
Related Terms: 8.jeff bridges crazy heart; 7.jeff bridges golden globe; 6.lloyd bridges
2.     sophia loren age (75. She was at the Golden Globes)
1.     gaines adams (Bears Defensive End. Died of heart attack at 26)

6.     haiti earthquake duration (From previous forever. Undraftable)
20.     pants on the ground favre (From previous day. Take that if you want this. And hate America)
19.     morgan brittany (Actress, on Conan? Doing something for breast cancer)
18.     isaved your life (iCarly episode)

16.     martin luther king jr quotes (WES)
- FOTS FTWsE January 26, 2008; and January 23, 2009
- This man can talk.
- If you don’t know who MLK is, learn some history.
- Born on January 15th
- - So we move his day to the 3rd Monday of January so we can take a long weekend.
- As this is “Quotes” I’ll give you some here:
- - A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.
- - I want to be the white man’s brother, not his brother-in-law.
- - Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
- - Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.
- - Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
15.     coakley vs brown poll (Massachusetts Senate race, essential tie)
14.     horse of the year (BOB)
- According to Wikipedia, it’s the highest honor given in American thoroughbred horse racing

- - Awarded since 1887 to the horse, irrespective of age, whose performance during the year is deemed most outstanding

- - - Kelso in the early 1960s won the award for five consecutive years

- - - Omaha is the only Triple Crown winner not to have been voted horse of the year

- Why now?

- - It was totally awarded

- - - To Rachel Alexandra

- - - - FOTSFTWE 5/22/09

- - - - - When she beat the boys at the Preakness
13.     clarence king (First director of the USGS. Unknown why now)
12.     tiny youtube converter (WES)
- Simple program.
- - Give it a url to a youtube video, and a filespec on your hard drive.
- - It converts the former into an mp3 file named the latter.
- - And that, in its RIAA-infuriating simplicity, is it.
- - It’s freeware, so I’d virus scan it while downloading it, before running it, daily, and every time you run it.
- - - Just to be sure.
- Why now?
- - It was released.
- - I’d link to their site, but they require adblock be turned off so I won’t.
10.     emaw k state (”Every Man A Wildcat” and “Kansas” respectively)
9.     mike nolan (Defensive Coordinator, may be moving to the Denver Broncos)
8.     charlie baggett (New assistant coach for the Tennessee Titans)
7.     stacy keach (Actor. Unknown why now)
5.     chan gailey (Will be coach for Buffalo Bills)
4.     renee walker 24 (Character on show. Came back?)
3.     the buried life list (MTV show about driving across country. Didn’t they do that?)
2.     my life as liz (MTV show about a high schooler named… Liz)
1.     guatemala earthquake (SAM)
- Guatemala is a tiny country at the south end of Mexico.
- Capital is Guatemala City.
- Population around 14mil.
- I love their motto.
- Live free and fertile.
- It explains a lot.
- Independent from Spain in 1821.
- Why now?

- Earthquake of 6.0 hit on the pacific side.
- At the time of the quake, not much info and no reports of damage or injury.
- Still can’t find much info on it.

- Does seem like the Pacific plate is moving a little though.
Related Terms: 17.guatemala map; 11.guatemala news

9.     cayman islands earthquake (BOB)
- Seems old Mother Earth is suffering some indigestion
- - A 5.8 earthquake struck the region of the Caymans
- - - In the western Caribbean, south of Cuba

- - - - 6.2 miles deep, 40 miles from the capital, George Town

- - - No reports of injury or major damage
8.     wacka flocka shot (Rapper, in a robbery)
Related Term: 13.waka flocka shot
7.     tiny tim tiptoe through the tulips (Sung on AI)
2.     orange county tornado (SAM)
Related Terms: 19.tornado warning los angeles; 16.tornado california; 11.tornado huntington beach; 6.tornado warning; 4.tornado warning san diego
- Orange county is a county just outside Los Angeles.
- Why now?
- And a tornado ripped through this county today.
- 4 water spouts just off the coast then one moved on shore and ripped through the county.

- Boats were lifted, trucks pushed over and winds of 80mph were recorded.
- Very unusual.

- Why?
- Because a tornado is a weather phenomenon of continentality.
- As in it needs a large land mass to build up for a tornado.

- By definition this was a hurricane.

- tornado like weather over the ocean.
1.     coakley concedes (WES)
Related Terms: 20.scott brown daughter; 18.scott brown acceptance speech; 17.celinda lake; 15.ayla brown; 14.scott brown truck; 12.susan estrich; 10.massachusetts senate race update; 5.massachusett senate race; 3.massachusett senate race results
- So there was this senate race in Massachusetts.
- - To fill the seat vacated by the late Ted Kennedy.
- - Democrats have held this seat since Jesus rode Dinosaurs across the primordial Earth.
- - - So, the Democrat, Martha Coakley, phoned in her campaign.
- - - - She even misspelled “Massachusetts” on one of her fliers.
- - The election was fairly close.
- - - Which says what could have happened if she’d bothered showing up.
- - Her Republican opponent, Scott Brown, won.
- - Apparently this means that the Democrats are a minority in Washington now.

EMail (volcanicast@gmail.com)
- 1 from Crazy Nutso
- 1 from Sean
Less than a week ago, I traveled to Le Havre on the coast of France, to
have a chat with the British Secret Service. They’d heard of my
exploits in Paris and contracted me to steal a mysterious box from the
Nazis in exchange for information on where my arch-nemesis Kurt Dierker
was hiding. I had the box, so it was time for answers.

The Brits revealed that Dierker was actually at a castle less than
a mile from Le Havre, getting ready to return to Berlin via zeppelin.
Armed with nothing but a German uniform, a stolen truck, a few sticks
of dynamite, and a tommy gun, I set out for the castle.

The truck got me past the front gates, but not through the great
oak door into the castle keep. The dynamite opened that door, but with
my cover literally blown I was faced with a contingent of angry guards.
Nothing the Thompson couldn’t handle, of course, but things got a bit
hairy when the Nazis started bringing out the flamethrowers. Good thing
I found that crate of grenades.

I fought my way to the top of the tallest tower and onto the
zeppelin, where I found Dierker skulking about in the shadows. He
wanted to show me this shiny new gun that Der Fuhrer had given him, but
I felt I should take it from him as I had heard somewhere that gunfire
inside a zeppelin is a VERY BAD IDEA.

Well, no one told Dierker, because he got off three shots and
triggered an explosion. So, now the zeppelin’s on fire. My
arch-nemesis, no doubt embarrassed at his mistake, beat feet and I had
to chase him along the crumbling catwalks of the disintegrating
airship. I caught up to him just in time to see him take the last
parachute and dive out a hatch, leaving me to ride the burning zep down
into the icy Atlantic.

A long swim and a short walk later, I soggily informed the British
that Herr Dierker would not be returning to Berlin just yet. They
claimed to be surprised at my survival, but they couldn’t have been
that surprised. They already had another job for me to do…

But that is another story, and this letter is already practically a novel.

- 1 from Hooters
Voice Mail (216-925-4263)

-
Announcements:
- None!
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
What Are We Drinking Now?

17.     coakley concedes (From previous day. Take that if you want this)

11.     pants on the ground utube (No. Undraftable. Just because)

1.     tornado warning santa clara (From previous day. Take that if you want this)
Related Terms: 14.tornado warning bay area; 12.tornado warning san jose
19.     jennifer lopez sarah palin (Oh yes she di-id)
16.     american idol orlando (That’s where they’re doing it)
Related Term: 18.matt lawrence american idol
13.     graco strollers (Recalled because they’re chopping off fingers)
Related Term: 20.graco stroller recall

10.     jennifer lyon (SAM)
Related Term: 15.jennifer lyon survivor palau
- Jennifer was 4th place winner on Surviver in 2005.
- Of which she said, at the Survivor season 10 reunion, that survivor taught her there are end goals and just to walk each day one at a time.
- Why now?
- She has succumbed to breast cancer after a 5 year battle.
- When asked why she didn’t seek medical attention when she found large lumps under the implants she stated she didn’t have health care and didn’t want to pay the bills.
- I guess being alive and paying for it is worse?

9.     leeann tweeden (WES)
- American professional hottie
- - She helps raise the… morale of the troops.
- - - Has been on 14 USO tours, 12 during the current Iraq/Afghanistan wars.
- Highlights of her life:
- - 1992: Won first place in the Venus International Model Search.
- - 1994: Was in the Hooters calendar (Yes, she worked there).
- - 2000: Got a gig on Fox’s Best Damn Sports Show, Period.
- - 2007: March cover girl for FHM magazine.
- - 2008: Named among the “Top Hooters Girls of all time.”
- Why now?
- - 2009: Became the public face of the website Rethinking Autism.
- - - But it was really made public today.
- - Celebrities, too often, are touting pseudo-scientific “cures” for autism that include anything from special diets (which do nothing) to avoiding vaccines (which do horrible things).
- - Rethinking Autism is attempting to use celebrities that actually know some facts to combat those that don’t.
- - - Fight hotties with hotties, you could say.
- - - I can find no proof that Leann is one of these knowledgeable hotties, but I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
- - - - At least she’s not suggesting mothers bleed the humors out of their children.
8.     claire danes (Wore a see-through dress)
6.     bugatti veyron mouse (New Tonight Show character, created just to spend money?)
5.     aquae sulis (BOB)
- It was a small town in the Roman province of Britannia
- - Occupied shortly after the Roman invasion of Britain in AD 43
- - - Located on the site of a natural hot spring which had been a shrine to the Celtic goddess Sulis
- - - - The name, in Latin, means “The waters of Sulis”
- - - - - The Romans identified the Celtic goddess with their goddess Minerva and encouraged her worship
- - - The spring was built up into a major roman baths complex
- - - The remains of the Roman settlement were discovered in the 18th century
- - - - The Great Bath, though it lies below 18th century stonework, is still lead lined and fed by the spring through Roman lead pipes
- Why now?
- - Final Jeopardy!
- - - In “Cities in England,” the Roman name for this city was Aquae Sulis
- - - - The correct response was, of course, Bath
4.     the choking game (Um yeah not a great idea)
3.     another earthquake in haiti (Yeah they can’t catch a break)
Related Term: 7.haiti another earthquake
2.     pete sheppard (Sports anchor. Fired)

19.     rielle hunter (FOTS, John Edwards’ baby mommy)
18.     scott brown cosmopolitan magazine (He’s dreamy)
17.     caterwauling (Screech loudly, like a cat in heat. Unknown why now)
16.     cagney and lacey (On Burn Notice)
15.     citizens united (Case at the Supreme Court, loosened campaign finance rules)
13.     google earnings (They’re good)
12.     eggology (BOB)
- The study of eggs and egg-related technology
- - I wish that was true
- - It’s actually an American food company established in 1993 and based in California
- - - They specialize in the sale of liquid egg whites
- - - - Originally, the company focused on high-protein drinks for body builders
- - - - - But now they sell those in addition to baked goods and pet food
- Why now?
- - No idea
- - - Appears to have been on TV, but I’ve got no good leads as to why
10.     tornado warning phoenix (They’re heading East apparently)
Related Term: 11.desert ridge tornado
9.     aaron zononi (Engineering student. Died. Or maybe didn’t)
8.     pat sajak (On Celebrity Jeopardy)
7.     mine that bird (FOTS, winner of Kentucky Derby. On Conan to burn money)

6.     billy crystal (SAM)
- So I totally thought this was billy Connerly.
- You know, the Scottish comedian that I really like.

- It wasn’t until Wes put in a photo that I realised it’s a different comedian.

- SO…Billy Crystal.
- I liked him in The Princess Bride.
- An MLT sandwich!!!
- March born actor and comedian.
- Oh cool, was the voice of Mike Wazowski for Monsters Inc.
- Of which there is a MI2 in the works!

- Why now?
- Well, a movie that he is in opens tomorrow.

- Many of the previews were commenting on him being in the movie “Tooth fairy”.
- He may or may not have appreated on Conan but I can’t find this rumour as it may have been lost in the shuffle of atricles about tooth fairy.
4.     toyota recall (BOB)
- Why now?

- - Toyota issued a voluntary recall of 2.3 million vehicles

- - - ‘05 models and on: Avalon

- - - ‘07 models and on: Camry, Tundra

- - - ‘08 models and on: Sequoia

- - - ‘09 models and on: Corolla, Matrix, RAV4

- - - And 2010 HIghlanders
- - - - Also, ‘09 and ‘10 Pontiac Vibes, which roll off the same assembly line as the Matrix

- - Due to a potential problem of the accelerator pedal sticking

- - - So if you own one of those, you might want to consider having taking it in to your dealer for a free inspection and possibly repair

3.     tefillin (WES)
Related Term: 5.phylacteries
- Small boxes, painted black, containing scrolls with verses from the Torah
- - For lack of a better term, the Jewish Bible.
- Long leather straps attached to the boxes are wrapped multiple times around the arms during morning prayer.
- - You can also wear them on your head, with the straps going down your chest like a long necklace.
- - - See Tefillin Barbie, in the show notes, for a demonstration of both.
- - - - I for one am glad that little Jewish girls are not being discriminated against when it comes to anorexia-encouraging toys.
- - They are worn as a remembrance that God brought the children of Israel out of Egypt.
- - - I could find no indication what you would wear to remember that God put the children of Israel in Egypt in the first place.
- Anyway, it’s a little box with metal doodads and cable-like attachments and if you pull one out on a plane you can guess what would happen.
- Why now?
- - Someone pulled one out on a plane.
- - - And you can guess what happened.
- - A 17-year-old boy whose name I could not find online figured he’d use his down time on the plane to get his prayers done.
- - He pulled the box out, and started wrapping the straps around his arm.
- - The stewardess asked him what it was, and he told her.
- - She then called the pilot, who announced a state of emergency and landed the plane.
- - Sounds completely reasonable to me.
2.     jersey shore reunion (After 1 season…)
Related Terms: 20.are ronnie and sammi still together; 14.sammi and ronnie still together
1.     air america (Closing down)

20.     gary matthews jr (Baseball outfielder, traded from Angels to Mets)
16.     diane von furstenberg (Dress maker, on The View)
15.     animal in you quiz (Lame personality test thing. Or beastiality)

14.     brad pitt beard (SAM)
- I think everyone knows Brad…
- But not many will recognize him lately.
- There are rumors that he is growing the beard for a role, to annoy Angelina, or Jennifer.
- Or just to get his fans talking.

- Why now?
- Who cares.
7.     hope for haiti performers (”We Are the Haitians… We are the children…”)
Related Terms: 19.i can see your halo; 18.hope for haiti benefit; 17.ill stand by you; 13.hope for haiti concert lineup; 12.lean on me; 10.dave matthews haiti; 9.wyclef jean anderson cooper; 8.hopeforhaiti; 5.sometimes i feel like a motherless child; 3.itunes.com/haiti; 2.how old is madonna; 1.justin timberlake haiti
6.     neil young long may you run (Was on Conan’s final Tonight Show)
Related Term: 11.neil young

4.     will ferrell wife (WES)
- Will Ferrell is an American comedian and actor.
- - Maybe you’ve heard of him.
- - Went from Saturday Night Live to some seriously good films like Elf and Anchorman.
- - - Then did some crap movies like Talladega Nights.
- - - - Then did some good movies again like Stranger than Fiction and Semi-Pro.
- - - - - And finally did more crap, most notably Land of the Lost
- - - - - - Note: The single-clause movie reviews above do not reflect the movie going tastes of the Volcanicast cast, crew, listeners, or audience and are the opinions of Wesley alone.
- His wife is Viveca Paulin, a Swedish actress who he met on Night at the Roxbury (one of the good ones, IMO)
- Why now?
- - He and she were on the final episode (and the final minutes) of Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show, performing a pretty good rendition of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird.
- - - Viveca was “playing the part” of Dawn, Will’s pregnant hippy wife.
- - - - Viveca was in fact actually pregnant, and this was a funny way to work her in anyway.
- - - Will even played the cowbell.
- - - - And the whole Tonight Show thing didn’t seem so bad any more.

Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia

Explicit Warning if missed