Volcanicast for the Week Ending 2010/01/08
Volcanicast January 12th, 2010
In this week’s Volcanicast, we have more than the average number of Apocalypses, less than the average number of faces on women, and about the average number of sexual innuendos… Just to name a few.
SHOW NOTES
Week Ending January 8th, 2010
Introduction
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
What Are We Drinking?
January 2 2010 (SAT)
- New show from the BBC
- - Which, in a fresh change, is being broadcast on BBC America at the same time.
- - Follows the tale of Luke, the great-great grandson of Abraham Van Helsing.
- - - He’s destined to fight demons.
- - - - Which is where I think they get the name from.
- - It’s gotten great reviews.
- - - But I’m personally going to hold off on it for now.
- - It set a viewership record for the BBC
- - - Highest rated premiere for a new show EVAR.
- - - - But I’m still resisting.
19. michigan state football suspensions (SAM)
- Yep…I took a football story.
- Because I think it’s funny.
- the football team, in a campus fight, kinda upset the coach.
- The team crashed a fraternity party.
- So he suspended 14 players and completly kicked 2 others off the team.
- This however was on Nov 22nd and the suspensions were handed out on Dec 1st.
- Now, I would have thought this ment the team no longer could play…
- SInce Rugby is 15 a side with 3 spare.
- Not the case in American football….to ensure everyone is included…there are like 50 of them!
- Why now then?
- Well, they played Tx today for the Valero Alamo Bowl.
- So all the news sports people were talking about the suspensions.
- Which included like half their starting team.
18. darius white (College football player. Did well)
16. ncis season 7 episode 1 (It was on)
14. liberty bowl (College Football bowl)
Related Term: 15.liberty bowl location
13. greenland shark (BOB)
- Also known as the sleeper shark, gurry shark, ground shark, grey shark, or Eqalussuaq
- - Native to the North Atlantic around Greenland and Iceland
- - Grows up to 21 feet in length, 2200 pounds
- - Little is known of the animal’s life cycle, but it may live to be 200 years old
- - Stomachs of captured sharks have contained such diverse meals as reindeer, horses, and polar bears
- - - Not to mention more pedestrian (for sharks) fare like fish, squid, and seals
- - The flesh of the animal is poisonous, but it can be prepared for human consumption by repeated boiling or allowing it to dry and rot
- Why now?
- - On an episode of Dirty Jobs entitled Greenland Shark Quest
- - - Originally aired in July, 2008, it was shown again in rerun
12. anne sluti (FOTS, unknown why now)
11. dexter mccluster (College football player, did well)
10. tebow cam (More lameness)
9. nick montana (College football player, did well?)
6. ufc 108 live stream free (UFC crap)
Related Terms: 17.mark munoz; 8.ufc 108 results; 7.rashad evans vs thiago silva
5. ben hartman (College football player, did poorly?)
4. brandon carter texas tech (College football player, did well?)
3. steven sheffield (College Football player, did well)
2. under armour high school football game 2010 (It happened)
1. two tickets to paradise (Song, sung at the Liberty Bowl)
January 3 2010 (SUN)
- Plural of sundry
- - Generally taken to mean many, various, and diverse
- - - Specifically often refers to toiletries and other small items of no large value and too numerous to name individually
- - - In the sport of cricket, it’s also known as an extra, which is a run scored by a means other than a batsman hitting the ball
- Why now?
- - On Family Guy
- - - The Griffins appeared on Family Feud
- - - - Complete with Richard Dawson
- - - - There was a gag where they were supposed to guess items found in a bathroom
- - - - - Meg guessed “a razor blade and a note”
- - - - - - It was converted to “sundries” and appeared as the top answer
19. adrienne bailon boyfriend (Someone on the Kardashian show, and some guy)
18. camila alves (Matthew McConaughey’s girlfirend, had 2nd baby)
15. dallas cowboys vs philadelphia eagles (Dallas won)
12. appalachian trail (BOB)
- A marked hiking trail in the eastern U.S.
- - Connects Mount Katahdin in Maine and Springer Mountain in Georgia
- - - Approximately 2,178 miles
- - - Marked by 2×6 inch white paint blazes
- - - Conceived in the 1920s by Benton MacKaye, a forester
- - - In 1936, Myron Avery was the first to traverse the entire trail, although not in one trek
- - - In 1948, Earl Shaffer of York, PA, was the first to document a complete hike in one trek
- - - In the 1960s, conservancy efforts began to protect the trail area from development
- - - - By the end of the 1900s, the National Park Service had completed the purchase of all but a few miles of the trail’s span
- - - Andrew Thompson set the unofficial speed record for through-hiking in 2005 at 47 days, 13 hours, 31 minutes
- - - - This was almost certainly with the help of an automobile-driven support team
- - - - Although, generally, it’ll take the average hiker five to seven months
- - An Internaional Appalachian Trail extends the trail 690 miles further north into New Brunswick and Quebec
- Why now?
- - National Geographic Channel aired a documentary entitled Appalachian Trail
- - - Which, I’m guessing, details the history and geography, and possibly biology, of the trail
11. newark airport lockdown (ADAM)
-Girlfriend lives in LA.
9. white house chef (Won Iron Chef)
Related Terms: 17.alton brown; 14.natalie coughlin
8. frank the entertainer (New show on VH1)
7. nfl playoff schedule 2010 (They’re cemented)
6. apocalypse island (SAM)
- This Island is a rumoured Island.
- Man I better get busy…there is so much to do in these last 2 years.
- So where is this mythical Island?
- Or if you want the Island that was in the HIstory Channel’s version of the end of the world, they are set in the South Pacific but are actually located somewhere near China.
- Maybe the ones in the south Pacific were too nice to film on or too hard to get to.
- Why now?
- And every time they had a break, they reminded people it was a made up version of the Mayan 2012 end of the calendar.
- Did noone ever think that they Mayans thought we may have come up with a better way to record the passing of time or have figured out how to continue their work?
- Maybe they ran outta stone or the guy carving all 5000 years of calander died?
5. wes welker injury (Football player, injured)
4. solomon islands (Tsunami!)
2. tyler thigpen (Miami Dolphins player, played)
1. pat white (Miami Dolphins player, injured)
Related Terms: 16.pat white injury update; 3.pat white miami dolphins
January 4 2010 (MON)
18. abc family (Channel. Unknown why now)
17. jillian and ed (On “The Bachelor”)
14. college of charleston (Won a football game, which was an upset)
12. jake the bachelor (Crappy show)
11. bobby cremins (College football player)
10. tcu football (In the Fiesta Bowl)
Related Terms: 20.tcu dance team; 16.tcu; 13.texas christian university
9. horned frog (Nickname for a team in the Fiesta Bowl this year)
7. orlando jordan (Former pro wrestler. In something called TNA)
Related Terms: 15.jeff hardy tna; 8.val venis (#7)
6. uso (Unknown why now)
4. conveyor belt of love (Yes, they’re speaking literally. New show)
3. michael mcdonald (A Doobie Brother. Sung the National Anthem at the Fiesta Bowl)
2. cookie johnson jeans (FOTS? “For women with more booty”)
Related Term: 5.cj jeans (#2)
1. casey johnson dead (Q-tip heiress, daughter of NY Jets owner)
Related Term: 19.woody johnson
January 5 2010 (TUE)
- The roots of any of a group of biennial thistles in the genus Arctium
- - Native to Europe, several species have been widely introduced worldwide
- - The prickly burrs of these plants are the inspiration for Velcro
- - - And provide an excellent mechanism for seed dispersal
- - The taproot of young burdock plants can be harvested and eaten as a root vegetable
- - - While out of favor in modern European cuisine, it remains popular in Asia
- - - - Narrow, woody roots are reportedly crisp with a sweet, mild, pungent flavor
- - - - Young leaves can be eaten and reportedly have a taste that resembles artichoke
- - - - - To which burdock is related
- Why now?
- - On Food Network’s Chopped
- - - One of the secret ingredients
16. nexus one sprint (ADAM)
Related Terms: 20.nexus one webcast; 17.nexus one vs droid
Networks: T-Mobile (Verizon too, soon) unlocked vs AT&T only
9. gabe pruitt (Basektball player. Came back after DUI arrest?)
8. body bug (FOTS? Biggest loser weight loss device. For sale)
Related Term: 18.body bug biggest loser
7. chicago executive airport (Site of a small plane crash)
Related Terms: 15.jet crash; 11.chicago plane crash; 10.royal air freight
6. chris dodd (Senator, announced he will retire)
5. byron dorgan (Senator, announced he will retire)
4. cool and the gang (Misspelling of a musical group. Performed at the Orange Bowl)
Related Terms: 13.jungle boogie; 12.orange bowl halftime show 2010
3. rory markas (Sports Broadcaster. Died)
2. upillar (WES)
Related Term: 14.u pillar
- Craigslist/eBay alternative web-site.
- - Big difference: You can list for free.
- - - Though they do offer paid ads, which I would assume get you more coverage or something.
- - They seem to emphasize car sales.
- - - They even sell full-inventory ads for car dealerships.
- - They are very small right now.
- - - I couldn’t find anything within 100 miles of me for sale.
- Why now?
- - They launched their nationwide ad campaign.
- - - On the Glenn Beck program.
- - - - So maybe it’s not the best place to sell things.
1. nicole henry (Singer, sang at the Orange Bowl)
- 1 from Crazy Nutso
Voice Mail (216-925-4263)
-
Announcements:
- None!
Email volcanicast@gmail.com
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
What Are We Drinking Now?
January 6 2010 (WED)
18. hp slate (WES)
- New tablet PC from Hewlett Packard
- - Runs Windows 7.
- - - Well, it will run Windows 7 when it actually gets released.
- - - - You can’t buy one now, and they don’t have a release date for it.
- - I’m not impressed with what I saw.
- - - It’s a small touchscreen computer with no keyboard or mouse.
- - - - i.e., an iPhone that you can’t put in your pocket.
- - - - - Or buy games from the Apple Store with.
- Why now?
- - Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO and fan of “Developers developers developers,” showed the new tablet off at CES.
- - - Consumer Electronics Show.
- - - I guess they didn’t have anything to actually show, so they called HP up and said “Hey can we borrow a prototype of something?”
17. she s out of my league (Movie, probably advertised at PCAs)
16. sandra bullock husband (SAM)
- Sandra Bullock is an actress.
- Who usually does the romantic comedies.
- And she married someone.
- She married Jessie James.
- Who has a daughter with ex porn producer Janine Lindermulder.
- Sandra has played mummy while Janine served prision time for not paying taxes.
- And Sandra helped Jesse get custody of his daughter.
- Why now?
- Everyone looked him up because of Sandra being in the news.
- She won the “People’s choice award” for Favourite Movie Acress nominated for 2 Golden Globes and one screen actors guild award.
13. dan lefevour (Football player. His team won)
11. i ll never get out of this world alive lyrics (Unknown why now)
10. quakebuttock (FOTS)
Related Term: 12.quakebuttock meaning
9. cornell basketball (College Basketball team, won an upset)
8. hogchoker (BOB)
- A small flatfish found along the coast of parts of North America
- - Abundant in many bays and estuaries north of the Carolinas, they prefer brackish water
- - Mainly feeds on small aquatic insects and invertebrates
- - Occasionally sold in aquarium stores
- - - Marketed as “Freshwater Flounder”
- Why now?
- - WWTBAM
- - - $25,000 in Animals: A hogchoker is a variety of what animal? A) Spider, B) Fish, C) Wolf, or D) Snake
- - - - Contestant called his friend and frat brother who didn’t know, and so he walked with $15,000
7. hall of fame voting (For Baseball)
Related Terms: 15.bert blyleven; 4.andre dawson
6. good girls go bad (Song, sung at the People’s Choice Awards)
5. julie chen (TV person, had a birthday, on some channel?)
3. james von brunn (Holocaust Museum shooter, died in custody)
2. anonymous quickie (Dating web site? On the Kardashian show?)
1. apocalypse man (History Channel Show about surviving an apocalypse?)
Related Terms: Related Term: 19.rudy reyes; 14.apocalypse man history channel
January 7 2010 (THU)
18. artie lange page 6 (Howard Stern’s sidekick, stabbed himself?)
17. abb shooting (SAM)
- Abb is a power company.
- Located in St Louis in Mo.
- So Mr Timothy Hendron wasn’t too happy with how his 401 retirement plan was going.
- Actually many people aren’t happy about this…to the point of a law suite starting last tuesday.
- Apparently Mr Hendron was a witness for this law suite.
- Perhaps the law suite isn’t working out because Tim took matters into his own hands.
- And decided to settle it with guns.
- Killing 3 people, wounding 7 then turned the gun on himself.
- One of the first killed was his boss. No other connections with the others.
16. gtl (Way too many acronyms. Apparently on Jersey Shore)
14. facebook colors (WES)
Related Term: 20.why is everyone posting colors on facebook
- Answer:
- - BOOBIES!
- - But we’ll get to that in a moment.
- Starting on this day, many people of the women-type persuasion started posting one-word status updates.
- - In all cases those words were a color. Red. Pink. In some cases “Clear.”
- - People of the men-type persuasion started wondering what was up with these women folk.
- - - Were they perhaps getting uppity?
- - The secret didn’t keep long, though, and the significance of the colors was revealed:
- - - Women were posting their bra colors.
- - Immediately, people asked “Why?”
- - - I did not ask “Why?” I googled for facebook bra pictures.
- - - - But that is beside the point.
- - - Turns out this seemingly silly and frivolous passtime - much like our own Beards for Boobs - was for the most noble cause.
- - - - Saving teh boobays.
- - - - - The idea is that it’s so easy to check your breasts for cancer, you could do it in the same amount of time that it takes to check your bra color.
- - - - - - I seriously doubt this is true, but it makes for a good viral campaign.
- - - - - - - And if it saves one boob, then it’s worth it.
13. alienware m11x (WES)
- Another new computer!
- - This purports to merge two things that were thought to be incompatible:
- - - Gaming and netbooks.
- - - - Traditionally, gaming computers are top-of-the-line machines that sacrifice nothing to give you the best gaming experience possible.
- - - - Traditionally, netbook computers are bottom-of-the-line machines that sacrifice everything to stay around or under $300.
- - Dell’s Alienware line of computers has been making gaming laptops for years.
- - - Their goal is to have the best gaming experience possible in a portable machine.
- - - - Yay lan parties.
- - This machine purportedly will weigh 4 pounds, and will play modern first person shooters at an unjittering 30 frames per second.
- - - It’s set to retail at under $1000.
- - - - I have no idea what makes this a netbook.
- - - - - And I looked.
12. bcs streaker (Wow how original. The 50’s called…)
7. lynne koplitz (Eternal FOTS, Unknown why now)
6. bay area earthquake (4.2)
Related Terms: 11.milpitas earthquake; 8.earthquake san francisco
5. sparkfun (Electronics seller? Had a “free day” whatever that is)
Related Term: 15.sparkfun twitter
4. colt mccoy injury (College quarterback, injured. Causing BCS troubles for Texas)
Related Terms: 10.garrett gilbert; 9.sherrod harris
3. ray stevens (Comic/Singer, made a song about Obamacare) (ADAM)
-”Ahab the Arab,” “Harry the Hairy Ape,” “Funny Man,” the original recording of “Santa Claus is Watching You,” and “Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving, Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills.”
-”Mr. Businessman” in 1968, a Top 30 pop hit, and “Have A Little Talk With Myself” and the original version of “Sunday Morning Coming Down” in 1969 (recorded by Johnny Cash in 1970), million-selling Top 10 pop hit with “Gitarzan.”
-Grammy-winning, gospel-inflected single “Everything Is Beautiful” (1970), a plea for love and tolerance, theme song for The Ray Stevens Show (summer 1970)
-”America, Communicate With Me” and “Sunset Strip”. “Bridget the Midget (The
Queen of The Blues)”
-”The Streak“
-Glenn Miller’s “In The Mood” in the style of a clucking chicken
–”fast-becoming the anthem of the Tea Party Movement”
-why now? YouTube video went viral
2. audra mcdonald (Actress? Nominated for an NAACP award?)
1. lee corso stroke (Sports broadcaster, still broadcasting)
January 8 2010 (FRI)
18. katie piper model (SAM)
- 24 yr old british model.
- Until a random attack on her in the middle of a street back in March 08.
- Pretty much burning all her skin off her face, her ears, running fown her front and back and over her hands.
- This attack was compltly at random and nothing to do with the model herself.
- Why now?
- With 2 years of reconstructive surgery and about a million skin graffs, she is pretty much back to herself and able to model again.
- her story aired on 20/20.
17. yvonne zanos (TV Station reporter/editor. Died)
16. shark tank (Show where inventors beg for money)
15. shirataki noodles (”Miracle Noodles,” on Rachael Ray)
14. erica hill (Reporter on CNN, leaving)
Related Term: 19.erica hill leaving cnn
13. romp n roll (Some sort of kids’ gym. On Shark Tank)
12. abbi tatton (Anchor/Reporter. Leaving CNN’s Situation Room)
11. ink flip (”Netflix for Ink”. On Shark Tank)
9. brockport shooting (Near a school, no less)
8. jim leavitt fired (Head coach for South Florida Football. Fired)
6. tpi composites (ADAM)
-TPI composites website
-”TPI is a leading developer and volume manufacturer of large-scale
composite structures for the wind energy, transportation and military
vehicle markets. The company’s technology excels where high strength,
light weight and durability are needed.”
-makes blades for wind turbines
-production facilities in Mexico with Mitsubishi Power Systems; Newton, Iowa; and Taicang, China
- $5.1 million in
federal tax credits (part of $2.3 billion for clean energy manufacturing projects. 183 projects in 43 states) to build a Grand Island plant and $3.9 million
to expand an existing plant in Newton, Iowa.
-expected to hire 200 workers for these plants.
-why now? TPI mentioned by President Obama in Clean Energy speech
5. lee corso stroke (From yesterday, #1)
4. kelly gray (Model, fired from St. Johns)
Related Term: 10.Kelly gray st john
3. mitch hedberg (Stand-up comedian. Died)
2. greer barnes (Stand-up comedian. On Comedy Central?)
1. jim mora (Head coach of the Seahawks, fired)
Related Term: 7.pete carroll seahawks
Phone number 216-YAK-GAMES or 216-925-4263
Website http://volcanicast.com
Volcanipedia http://crazynutso.com/volcanipedia
Explicit Warning if missed
(*)(*) The Volcanipedia entry for this week is done already! (I had to get up early to clear $*^( snow off the driveway)
(+)(+) http://www.crazynutso.com/volcanipedia/tiki-index.php?page=Week+Ending+January+8+2010
(^)(^) The ‘Hooters’ page is still not even started yet.
() Although I’ve already got one of her ‘5 things’, I think.
* Finally tried one of the recipes from Mom’s cookbook.
* No, not the Brain Pudding, can’t find a whole hog’s head.
* Mom’s pineapple dessert.
* Which is a delicious blend of crushed pineapple, graham cracker crust, melted marshmallows and whipped cream. YUM.
No time to comment big, but I got Adam’s “Ums” and I’ll send them your way when I can. I’m hoping to post the Tangentcast tonight and I don’t know for sure but it may be over 20 minutes long. Maybe 30.
5 Things?
5 things is something I put on the cast pages. For example, go to Sam’s Page to here her ‘5 things’. Then go to Bob & Wes’ pages. Do this at work, so you can get into trouble. But in any case, these guys want me to make a ‘Hooters’ page, like the Adam page, but with less penis and more hooters. Honestly, it’s totally those guys, not me at all.
@ Wes: I had a feeling the show was longer then the released. It didn’t have the abrupt cuts that I would have, but still. Looking forward to the tangents.
* I’ll totally take a Adam ‘Uhm’, as I was planning on cutting them from the Thanksgiving show, and might have got his confused with Jefferys. I’m so confused.
Okay, by “tonight” I mean “this morning” so here’s the tangentcast and it’s “only” 18 minutes: http://planetretcon.com/podcast/tangentcast_20100108.mp3
The Ums will take a bit because they’re in the other room and the couch is kinda comfortable.
Booo. I have to wait till I get home :o(
Okay. Finally I have a minute to respond to Volcanipedia:
* I must admit that the obvious anal sex joke did not occur to me. Likely because I was so annoyed by the yet-another-reason-to-never-fly-ishness of the topic.
* I did not remember Sam saying this before. Mostly because I’ve known the sexual connotation of “rooting” since long before I met Sam, and I’ve never been to New Zealand.
* I’m sure you thought upillar was good when you heard it was on Glenn Beck’s program.
* Mmmmm, pie.
* Tim Tebow’s Tersely Tinted Tabernacle tells the Truth!
* * I didn’t like to use “tinted” but couldn’t think of a better word.
* * * Or be bothered to check a Thesaurus.
* I don’t remember the Jesse James stuff either. Doesn’t surprise me.
* More bells? I recall 4 rings - each for a death - in quick succession for a single topic.
* I think I’m going to get Jamie 2 pumpernickel bagels and some string.
* I said I believed that Lynne Koplitz had never been skipped before. And that was true.
* Bock bock!
* I abstain from commenting on Jamie’s fanitude.
* That’s all I got.
* Eh, all this fear mongering about terrorists is just political hogwash. Besides, we all know what we should REALLY be afraid of. Global warming.
* It was pretty obvious from context what ‘rooting’ meant, but she said ‘You know what we call it back in New Zealand?’ in a memorable naughty schoolgirl kinda voice. Or at least that’s how I remember it.
* When I get some extra money, I’m totally buying ad time on the Glenn Beck show for Volcanicast.
* Pie is yummy. Although Pineapple Desert is pretty yummy as well. Also dry and sunny. And a little sandy.
* No, tinted works. But you could have worked ‘tits’ in there, if you were really trying.
* Gosh, it’s almost as if you were in the habit of consuming vast qualities of something that might affect your memory. Nah, you guys don’t smoke pot.
* My lame SNL/cowbells skit reference. Cowbells would be better.
* I’m sure the bagel bra will be well received by both Hooters & Mr Hooters.
* I stand corrected. The volcanipedia entry, however, will stand uncorrected.
* o/ Boiled, chicken fried, chicken pot, picken’ chicken My baby, my baby She fixes chicken for me bok Bok BOKKIN! /* (It’s a song from The Cramps)
* You should always abstain in regards to Jamie.
* That’s enough.
* Actually I think it’d be hilarious if a bunch of Glenn Beck listeners tried out our show.
* * Actually I’ll take listeners from wherever I can get them.
* * * I’ve considered playing the show on a boom box in a graveyard.
* My memory has not worked correctly since… I can’t remember.
* I got the SNL reference, but assumed the link was less tenuous than the simple existence of a bell. My apologies.
* ab stain?
I would likely get ab stains if the pumpernickle bagels came with cream cheese.
*blink*
Is it me, or did Hooters just win the internets?
Hooray Hooters!
If I had a dollar for every time I thought “Hooray Hooters…”
Hooters just makes Volcanicast a bit more fun.