Volcanicast November 17th, 2009

In this week’s volcanicast, we discuss Annette Funicello and then Carrie Prejean in bikinis, Katt Williams in a guest house and then in jail, and Sam in New Zealand and then (next week!) back in the studio… just to name a few.

SHOW NOTES

Note: Topics in ITALICS were not researched and any notes following them are dubious at best and outright wrong at worst.

November 7 2009 (SAT)

13.    posturing (Related to brain injury)
12.    scott becker looking for april (You missed it. Oh, that’s a name?)
11.    hr 3962 (#7)
10.    sec championship game 2009 (It happened)
9.    health care vote results (They happened)
8.    stupak amendment (#7)
7.    motion to recommit (First in a series of Republican attempts to stall the Health Care bill)
6.    john fogerty (BOB)
- American singer, songwriter and guitarist
- - Best known for his work with Creedence Clearwater Revival
- - But has also hit #1 as a solo artist
- - - Continues to play and record at age 64

- Why now?

- - Support for his new release, The Blue Ridge Rangers Rides Again

- - - Which is a sequel to his 1973 solo debut, The Blue Ridge Rangers

- - Specifically, he was on PBS’ Live By Request

- - - He was subsequently on The Tonight Show on the 10th
5.    zenyatta (Race horse, has won all 14 races ever run)
4.    daonolfix (WES)
- A relatively new trojan by the name of Daonolfix is sweeping forums in what early user reports suggest might make it the new Conflicker.
- - That is what every single website that says anything about this “virus” has to say.
- - Every. Single. One.
- - Not one reputable site says ANYTHING about this.
- - It is, at best, a joke.
- - I will therefore spend no more time on it.
3.    ann jillian (Actress, related to breast cancer?)
2.    joseph cao (The one Republican who voted for the Health Care bill)
1.    jahvid best (College football player, injured)

November 8 2009 (SUN)

19.    hurricane ida projected path (YOUR HOUSE!)
18.    333 ways to get kicked out of walmart (I like #162: Shoot the manager)
17.    mummer (Some weird local thing to Philadelphia)
16.    hoot (2006 movie. Probably on somewhere)
15.    extreme survival (Lame SyFy show that’s not Sy or Fy)
14.    cate blanchett (Actress, unknown why now)
13.    bcs rankings week 11 (The RNGs came up with new numbers)
12.    tampa bay buccaneers (Played Football)
11.    gabriel iglesias (Comedian, had a Comedy Central special)
10.    jahvid best (See previous day)
9.    josh freeman (New QB for TB, did well)
8.    uvula (Body stuff)
7.    alex borstein (Actress, on #6, voiced #1)
6.    seth macfarlane (Had a TV special)

5.    beach blanket bingo (BOB)
- 1965 film starring Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon
- - Fifth of seven in the Beach Party series, released between 1963 and 1966
- - - And arguably the most popular
- - Featured cameos by Paul Lynde, Don Rickles, and Buster Keaton
- - Was the last to star Frankie Avalon
- Why now?
- - On TCM
4.    davenport (Brand name of sofa. Unknown why now)
3.    joseph cao (WES)
- Representative for Louisana’s 2nd District
- - Republican
- - - First term, after defeating a 9-term Democrat in 2008.
- - First Vietnamese American in Congress
- - - Also the first Vietnam native.
- - First Republican to serve in the district since 1890
- Why now?
- - He voted FOR the Health Care bill.
- - - Or the Health Insurance bill, whatever.
- - - - I still think the Democrats should have named it the “Patriotic Flag Troops for Children” bill.
- - - He was the only Republican to do so.
- - - 39 Democrats, incidentally, voted No.
- - - However, 219 Democrats voted Aye.
- - - There are so few Republicans, that their 176 Noes, along with the 39 Democratic Noes, were only 215
- - - - So the Ayes were above the Noes, and it passed by 5 votes.
- - - - - Good thing they put all those concessions in there to snag that Republican.
- - The bill will now move on to succumb to massive watering-down changes in the Senate before losing due to Leiberman’s promised “No” vote.
2.    jessica tandy (Actress, no clue why now)
1.    marlee matlin (Deaf actress, faked being mad at #6 as a publicity stunt. Or a gag. You pick)

November 9 2009 (MON)

20.    jimmy the greek (Lame sports thing)
19.    kari ann peniche (”Sex Rehab” tv show “star”. Now on Howard Stern)
18.    everly (Music group. Had a song on One Tree Hill?)
17.    rhabdomyolysis (#3)
16.    johnny gosch (Abducted in 1982, age 12. Unknown why now except he’s 40)
15.    brady smith (Actor. Boned Tiffini Amber Theissen knocked her up. And married her. Probably not in that order)
14.    new mexico soccer player suspended (Oh noes!)
13.    porpoise (BOB)
- Our purpose is to bring you the trends in a fun and offbeat way
- - But that’s not important right now
- Porpoises are small cetaceans of the family Phocoenidae
- - Related to whales and dolphins
- - - Distinct from dolphins due to shorter beaks and flattened teeth
- - - - Also tend to be shorter and stouter
- - Hunt fish, squid, and crustaceans
- - Are capable of echolocation
- - Tend to be found in small groups and near coastal waters
- Why now?
- - There was news that the bodies of dead porpoises found off the coast of California were attributed to attacks by dolphins
- - - Due to someone catching one such attack on video
- - - - Looks like a big wet cat with a toy mouse
- - - It was probably covered on TV
12.    knights of the golden circle (Jesse James’ cult?)
11.    sammy sosa bleached skin (#1)
10.    katt williams (#8)
9.    anya marina whatever you like (Singer singing a cover? I don’t know)

8.    katt williams arrested for burglary (WES)
- Katt Williams, aka Micah S. Katt Williams, is a comedian and rapper.
- - I was personally first exposed to him in Grand Theft Auto 4, where he does an act in a comedy club.
- - I saw one of his specials last year on Comedy Central and enjoyed it.
- Why now?
- - The search term pretty much sums up the news on that day.
- - However, certain things have come to light since:
- - - He was a guest in that house.
- - - He had been living there a month while filming a movie.
- - - He and the person who called the cops on him - an employee of the house’s owner - had gotten into an arguement.
- - No word yet on if he actually did anything, but I’m going to guess “no.”
7.    ej manuel (Florida State’s new QB)
6.    maclaren stroller recall (The floor mats keep the accelerator down)
5.    uaa online (Women’s basketball team from alaska?)
4.    admob (Mobile phone ad compnay. Google bought ‘em)
3.    rhabdo (It was on House)
2.    ralph peters new york post (Got mad at Obama for not thinking the Fort Hood thing was a terrorist attack)
1.    sammy sosa pictures (He bleached his skin)

November 10 2009 (Gunman TUE)

20.    colleen shipman (That psycho astronaut chick)
19.    phone fake (Web site that will spoof your phone number)
18.    dc sniper executed (Good)
17.    pine plains central school district (#3)
16.    fort hood memorial service (sad)
15.    biggest loser shay (#2)
14.    eric wrinkles death row (#5)
13.    robert enke (Soccer player, killed himself)
12.    bexar county tax office (Theives did a smash-and-grab)
11.    dizzy feet foundation (Did fundraising on SYTYCD)
10.    kristy mcnichol (Actor, unknown why now)
9.    shay sorrells (#2)
8.    bobby s world (Old cartoon. No clue why now)
7.    fenton glass (BOB)
- West Virginia art glass company
- - It’s not very interesting at all
- - - Perhaps making it is
- Why now?
- - On Dirty Jobs
- - - Starring Mike Rowe
6.    larabar (Energy bars. I bet they’re great)
5.    eric wrinkles (Killed people, got the death sentence, then apologized)
4.    pine plains ny (#3)
3.    stissing mountain high school (Great, more gunmen in schools)
2.    shay biggest loser (Won, or lost, or something)

1.    carrie prejean sextape video (WES)
- So I took this to spur me to search the interwebs for pictures or video of the classicly pretty, young, and vapid Carrie Prejean nekkid, and perhaps gettin’ bizzay.
- - But the story actually is a bit more involved than that.
- So let’s recap Carrie Prejean’s several units of 15 minutes of fame, up to this point:
- - She became Miss America.
- - - Because she’s classicly pretty, and young.
- - She said she thought it was wrong for gays to be married.
- - - Because she’s vapid.
- - Donald Trump, who owns the right to randomly pick and choose anything that has to do with the pageant, dethroned Carrie and gave the crappy tiara to someone else.
- - Carrie sued.
- - Carrie suddenly dropped the lawsuit for no apparent reason.
- Why now?
- - Turns out she had a reason.
- - - The Donald et al had a sex tape of her, and threatened to make it public.
- - - And now, I’m sure quite accidentally, it was made public anyway.
- - - And this tape may be one of dozens she sent to her now ex-boyfriend.
- - - - I sadly couldn’t find the videos online, but I did feel the strong desire to pop some popcorn while reading all the drama.

November 11 2009 (CMA WED)

20.    little jimmy dickens (Musician. At the CMAs)
19.    ryan conklin (Army vet, recalled to Iraq. On an MTV special)
18.    jason aldean (Musician. At the CMAs)
17.    roy clark (Musician. At the CMAs)
16.    zac brown band (Band. At the CMAs)
15.    vince gill (Musican. At the CMAs)
14.    sugarland lyrics (They’re a band, not a song. At the CMAs)
13.    miranda lambert (Musician. At the CMAs)
12.    how old is george strait (6. At the CMAs)
11.    billy currington (Musician, at the CMAs)
10.    why wont my parakeet eat my diarrhea (WES)
- I almost took this just to not talk about CMAs -The Blob 11/12/09 3:34 PM
- I *DID* take this just to not talk about CMAs.
- - Though, the topic is amusingly named and is actually about something I find quite interesting.
- So I’m just going to start with Why Now?
- - Turns out, you can go to Google and start typing stuff, and it’ll slap a drop-down of common things people type. Sort of like auto-complete.
- - So far this is more amusing than useful.
- - - Like Volcanicast.
- - The above comes up when you type the first 5 characters of the question (why w)
- - Other amusing things:
- - - (how c)an you tell if a girl is a virgin
- - - (if i took) away two years from my age and gave them to you you’d be twice my age
- - - (when w)ill i die
- Why now?
- - Though Google’s been doing it for a while now, people just noticed it was spitting out funny results.
9.    lou dobbs leaving cnn (He is)
8.    sugarland (Band. At the CMAs)
7.    jamey johnson (Musician, at the CMAs)
6.    southern voice lyrics (Tim McGraw song, at the CMAs)
5.    brooks and dunn break up (It was a while ago, but they were at the CMAs)
4.    lady antebellum (Country band. At the CMAs)
3.    how old is reba mcentire (100. At the CMAs)

2.    darius rucker (BOB)
- Hootie
- - of Hootie and the Blowfish
- - - Although he never really intended to use the name Hootie for himself
- - - - In fact, it seems to have caused him consternation over the years
- - - - - So much so that he turned to country fucking music to get away from it
- Why now?
- - CMAs
- - - He done did won one!
- - - - Inexplicably, Best New Artist
1.    barbara mandrell (Musician, at the CMAs)

November 12 2009 (THU)

20.    bears vs 49ers (That’s who played)
19.    black friday 2009 best buy (They’re having a sale, I guess?)
18.    what channel is the bears game on tonight (The channel of SUCK)
17.    jeff bower (#8 was replaced by him)
16.    of the monks (I have no clue what it means or why it was searched for)
15.    cma awards 2009 winners (Tayler Swift and Beyonce)
14.    oprah chimp victim (Yeah. This actually happened.)
13.    john wetteland (MLB coach. Tried to kill himself)
12.    alavi foundation (Might be a terrorist front. Got raided)
11.    nacha (BOB)
- Hilariously, the emails are signed Copyright 2009 by NACHA - The Electronic Payments Association
- - So, it’s a scam
- - - One of a bajillion trying to get you to give them your bank account information so they can clean it out for you
- - - - Don’t click a link in an email unless you have vetted it first
- - - - - If you don’t know how, be on the safe side and don’t click it
- - - - - - If you need to go to the site in question, type the URL yourself
- - - - - - - The fuckers use dirty tricks to make it appear to be a legit link
- Why now?
- - These NACHA ones swung into high gear
- - - And people had to know why an organization they’d never heard of was all up in their electronic payments bizniss
- - - - Spoiler: It wasn’t
10.    thursday night football (#7)
9.    mary weiland (Scott’s wife. Divorcing him. He’s from Stone Temple Pilots)
8.    byron scott (NBA coach, fired)
7.    nfl network (They started Thursday Night Football)
6.    carrie prejean sextape video free (Okay)
5.    black friday 2009 deals (Not low enough to save the economy)
4.    doyenne define (WES)
- Famous Nevada brothel madam in the 1880s and 90s
- - Known for her wide hips, skinny waist, and bad spelling.
- - - She thought she was making her last name “Divine,” see.
- - - - No?
- - - - No.
- Actually, the people were trying to find the definition of the word “Doyenne”
- - Google Tip #13: To define a word, use the syntax: “define: word”
- - - Then you’ll get actual definitions and not have to click anything.
- - According to Princeton, a Doyenne is a “woman who is the senior member of a group”
- - - Like, for example, a brothel madam.
- - It is the feminine of “Doyen”
- Why now?
- - I don’t know.
- - - It apparently was not on a game show.
- - - Nothing in the news or recent blog posts
- - - - Except definitions and people hankering for google search hits.
3.    thunder collins (Former college football player, spending life in prison)
2.    barbara mandrell (More CMA crap)
1.    happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance (No, it’s impossible)

November 13 2009 (FRI)

18.    hawaii chair (Workout crap)
17.    volvo xc60 features (#3)
16.    johanna orozco (Got shot in the face by her boyfriend. Young love!)

15.    ebright azimuth (WES)
- Highest point in Deleware.
- - The top of a hill in Northern Deleware.
- - - Just feet from the Pennsylvania border, actually.
- - Possibly the easiest “highest point” you can reach in a US state.
- - - You can get out of your car and accidentally step on the marker.
- - - It is 447 feet above sea level.
- - - - Pulp Audio Studio 1, to give you a sense of comparison, is around 1,000 feet above sea level.
- - For a fleeting moment I thought how cool it would be to make “hit all 50 highest points” one of my life goals.
- - - Then I thought about getting to the top of Mt. McKinley and changed my mind.
- Why now?
- - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
- - The contestant was stumped on the question asking what Ebright Azimuth, in Deleware, was.
- - - The contestant took a lifeline, ask someone famous or something.
- - - - I dont’ know what the lifelines are.
- - - The famous person turned out to be Ken Jennings, who won a billion dollars on Jeopardy a couple years ago.
- - - Ken knew the correct answer, so the contestant went on to win a whopping $50,000
14.    is the game coming back (”The Game” is a TV show. And apparently it is)
13.    trovon reed (Nations top football prospect? Picked a college)
12.    bold fresh tour (Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck crap)
11.    david banner (Rapper. No clue why now)

10.    water on the moon (BOB)
- ZOMG
- - Totally confirmed
- - - By spectrography
- - - - There’s H₂O on the moon
- - - - - We can totally live there now as long as we bring an atmosphere and radiation protection and maybe some way to grow food
- - - - - - And the green stuff food eats
- Why now?
- - They released the results of the science on the LCROSS mission that made headlines Oct. 9th by crashing into the moon
- - - With less than spectacular visual results
- - - - But good science
9.    black friday 2009 deals walmart (#7)
8.    wizard of oz hanging (Still not true)
7.    walmart black friday 2009 deals (As opposed to 2007 deals)
6.    tia mowry wedding pictures (Guess what this is about?)
5.    we look forward to a world founded upon (…what? FDR quote)
4.    palladia (I have no idea. It’s a music channel, a drug, and more!)
3.    what drives edward phase 4 (Some commercial for Volvo?)
2.    harrison barnes (Nation’s top basketball prospect, picked a college)
1.    tony alamo (Preacher, convected to 175 years for raping children)

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