Volcanicast

Blob November 16th, 2007

In this episode of Volcanicast, Kris, Bob, and guest host Sam discuss Ohio’s stripper laws, medieval torture devices, date rape for toddlers, hot old comediennes, a former prosecutor turned media bitch, the wrong way to perform dissections, and smart fifth graders… Just to name a few.

As your first time host, Bob apologizes for the butchered audio and very long delay in posting.

 

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Show Notes:

Explicit Warning
Show Explanation
Introduction of hosts, What are we drinking?

Nov 4, 2007 (SUN)

• 6.ipecac (BOB)
  - Syrup of ipecac is an emetic
  - - A chemical which can induce vomiting
  - - derived from the dried rhizome and roots of the Ipecacuanha plant
  - - Traditionally used to purge the stomach in case of accidental poisoning, this usage is increasingly discouraged
  - - - Vomiting does not necessarily relieve the poison
  - - - The ipecac can interfere with diagnosis and treatment
  - Also a record label founded by Faith No More’s Mike Patton and Greg Werckman (former manager of the Alternative Tentacles label)
  - Why now?
  - - From the TV, of course. Either:
  - - - Per KJToo: This may be another Family Guy reference, as there was a scene in the clip show where Peter, Chris, Stewie and Brian drink ipecac. Last one to throw up gets the last piece of pie. Much hilarious barfing ensues. -TheKJToo 11/6/07 1:22 PM
  - - - Grey’s Anatomy featured music by Ipecac artist Imani Coppola
  - - - - Related search terms winona, the judds, and wynnona cause me to suspect the latter
  - - - - - But there doesn’t seem to have been any Juddesque music on the episode in question
• 5.radon gas (KRIS)
  - Atomic symbol: Rn
  - Atomic number: 89
  - Heaviest of the noble gasses. [insert "fat noble" joke here]
  - It is colorless at standard temperature and pressure, but turns bright yellow at -96 degrees Fahrenheit and red-orange at -180 degrees.
  - It is chemically inert (hence its nobility), but also radioactive.
  - Reponsible for about 21,000 lung cancer deaths every year.
  - And yet people still go to “radon spas”, where they can spend time in a high-radon environment.
  - Radon can accumulate to dangerous levels in buildings.
  - Why now?
  - - On Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the Miller family’s home was renovated and made radon-safe.
  - - The radon level in their home prior to the show was apparently as toxic as four people smoking twelve cigarettes a day.
  - Install a detector, okay?
• 4.kids night on broadway (BOB)
  - Event that allows children to attend a Broadway show for free
  - - When accompanied by a paying adult
  - Why now?
  - - Because it’s going on now
  
• 3.nfl single game rushing record (BOB)
  - Rookie Adrian Peterson set the record at 296 yards
  - - Helped his Minnesota Vikings trounce the San Diego Chargers 35-17
  - - Jamal Lewis previously held the record at 295 yards, set in 2003
  - - It’s Peterson’s second 200-yard game this season
  - - - The first time a rookie has achieved that statistic
  - So, yay him
  
• 2.tom perkins (KRIS)
  - Venture capitalist.
  - - Which is not the same as “Venture brother”. Dammit.
  - - - But The Venture Brothers is a funny show. You should watch it.
  - Former director of Hewlett-Packard.
  -His “mega-yacht”, The Maltese Falcon, is the largest privately-owned sailboat in the world.
  - - The masts are 192 feet tall and hoist more than a half-acre of sail.
  - - If the wind isn’t enough, the boat is powered by two 1,800-horsepower engines.
  - - You could almost fit the International House of Johnson inside The Maltese Falcon…ten times; the yacht has 11,000 feet of living space.
  - Why now?
  - - He was interviewed by Leslie Stahl on 60 Minutes.
  - - - On the interview, he apparently said he regrets leaving HP.
  
• 1.david hyde pierce (KRIS)
  - Actor.
  - Played Dr. Niles Crane on Frasier.
  - Was the voice of Abe Sapien in the first Hellboy movie.
  - - There have since been two animated Hellboy movies and a second live-action movie is in the works. Doug Jones (that actor who portrayed Abe on the screen) does the voice of Abe Sapien in all three.
  - Does not do the voice of Stewie on Family Guy.
  - - That would be show creator, Seth MacFarlane, who also does the voices of Peter Griffin and Brian the dog.
  - - Why would you mention that David Hyde Pierce doesn’t do the voice of Stewie?
  - - Because the 100th episode of Family Guy aired on Sunday and Seth MacFarlane did a clip show prior to the actual episode.
  - - - Okay…and?
  - - - The clip show also featured MacFarlane interviewing people who had just seen Family Guy for the first time.
  - - - - You’re going somewhere with this, right?
  - - - - I am. See, one woman asked if David Hyde Pierce did the voice of Stewie and MacFarlane lied to her.

Nov 5, 2007 (MON)

• 4.carol burnett (BOB)
  - Could it be that a PBS program resulted in the googles?
  - - Carol Burnett, comedienne/actress/singer, was featured on PBS’s American Masters
  - - - Subtitle: Carol Burnett: A Woman of Character
  - - She is very, very funny
  - - - You whipper-snappers should scope out some of her stuff on YouTube
  - - - - I hope it still resonates as it did when I was a kid
  - - Holy crap! She’s 74 years old!
• 3.asr clothing (KRIS)
  - Mahalo.com sez, “Asr Clothing is a new clothing line created by 21 year old designer Ashley Reed. Reed started her business after people continuously commented on her custom made clothes. Her now five employee business has been featured in magazines across the country.”
  - The official website is http://www.asrcollection.com/
  - Why now?
  - - Nothing on the Google News.
  
• 2.dancing with the stars tour (BOB)
  - Can’t get enough of former and almost celebrities dancing?
  - - You’re in luck
  - - - You can see the live, coming to a town near you
  - Tickets went on sale last week
  
• 1.avant gaudy (KRIS)
  - An online vintage clothier (http://www.avantgaudy.com/) created by Deborah Umunnabuike, who probably attends the University of Chicago.
  - Why now?
  - - She (Deborah) was a finalist as a young entrepreneur in BusinessWeek.

Nov 6, 2007 (TUE)

• 7.rain pryor (KRIS)
  - The daughter of Richard Pryor. I think.
  - She’s also an actress; she appeared on Head of the Class, which is not to be confused with Saved by the Bell.
  - - She played T.J.
  - She wrote a book, Jokes My Father Never Told Me: Life Love and Loss with Richard Pryor, in 2006,
  - Why now?
  - - No. Freaking. Clue.
  
• 6.cbs.com (BOB)
  - It’s a domain name
  - - in the dot com top-level domain
  - - Currently registered to the Columbia Broadcasting System
  - Why now?
  - - No way of knowing, really
  - - - Either a promotion or a link to a show, I’d guess.
  - - - - One related search term is cbs.comncis, which might give a clue
  
• 5.virginia election results (BOB)
  - There was a general election last Tuesday
  - - Even in Virginia
  - - Apparently lots of Virginians wanted to see the results
  - - - Democrats won a majority in the state Senate
  - - - - Also gained seats in the General Assembly
• 4.polybrite (BOB)
  - Polybrite International is the creator of a patented technology combining polymers and LEDs
  - - Best known for lighted dog collars and leashes
  - - Released a press release indicating that they had developed a new light bulb
  - - - “Indestructable”, mercury-free, uses 90% less energy [than a traditional incandescent, I'd assume], and can last “up to 15 years or longer”
  - - - - In related news, I loathe variations on the phrase “up to X or more”
  - - - - - It has no meaning
  - - - - - - It defines neither a minimum nor a maximum
  - - - - - - - It doesn’t even convey, although it’s always the desired assumption, that the average is around X
  
• 3.cbeyond (KRIS)
  - A telecommunications company!
  - They offer some kind of VOIP solution.
  - Why now?
  - - I believe there was an outage.
  
• 2.cnn.com/nancygrace (KRIS)
  - She’s a former prosecutor.
  - She’s also a talk show host on the CNN.
  - She was pretty sure the Duke lacrosse players were guilty of rape and had all but convicted them in her own personal court of public opinion, which just happens to be on one of the (if not The) most watched cable news networks.
  - - She did this despite a complete lack of evidence of their guilt.
  - This is not really unusual for her; she’s got a bit of a “hang ‘em first and ask questions after attitude”.
  - She also shot her mouth off after wrestler Chris Benoit killed his family and then committed suicide. She made a shit-ton of totally inaccurate statements based on a heaping pile of Not-Fact about Benoit and a bunch of other wrestlers.
  - Why now?
  - - Well, we could always hope that she was convicted of some horrible crime she didn’t commit and spent the rest of her life in a miserable hellhole.
  - - But she gave birth to twins.
  - - - She should name them Erik and Lyle.
  
• 1.gormagon (BOB)
  - From the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue
  - - A monster with six eyes, three mouths, four arms, eight legs, five on one side and three on the other, three arses, two tarses, and a *** upon its back; a man on horseback, with a woman behind him.
  - - - Tarse is an old german word for “penis”
  - - - The *** is apparently shorthand for “cunt”
  - - - - The number of legs makes perfect sense, since a lady, regardless of pelvic exposure, rides sidesaddle
  - Why now?
  - - It has TV spikes (6 and 9pm Google Standard Time), but I can’t find where it was mentioned
  - - Related search terms are all just different spellings

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Voice Mail

Nov 7, 2007 (WED)

• 8.aqua dots recall (KRIS)
  - Known as Bindeez in Australia, where they won some kind of award for best toy of the year in 2007.
  - They’re being recalled because they’re supposed to contain pentanediol but actually contain butanediol.
  - - Why is that bad?
  - - - Because when butanediol is swallowed by the chilluns, it metabolizes into GHB, one of them date-rape drugs.
  - - - Oops.
  
• 7.ruby ridge (See #1.pear of anguish)
• 6.little big town (See #2.kelly pickler)
• 5.when you love someone like that lyrics (KRIS)
  - It’s a song. By LeAnn Rimes.
  - I can’t say I’m a fan.
  - Probably on a lyrics show, but I couldn’t find a reference.
  
• 4.josh turner (See #2.kelly pickler)
• 3.shuttle landing (BOB)
  - Discovery touched down safely at Kennedy Space Center in Florida on Nov. 7th at 1:01 pm EST
  - - Now the oldest member of the operating fleet
  - - Comment from Wesley (who is abdicating his googular responsibilities to flit about on some boat in the Caribbean) on the picture in the show notes:
  - - - I don’t know if that picture is from the current landing, and I don’t care. It’s damn cool. -Wesley 11/9/07 5:04 PM
  
  
• 2.kelly pickler (KRIS)
  - She’s a singer.
  - She’s not hard to look at.
  - She was a finalist on American Idol.
  - Why now?
  - - She sang on the CMA Awards.
  - - - That’s not redundant. CMA stands for “Country Music Association.”
  - - - She broke down crying after singing “I Wonder”, a song about her mother, who abandoned her when she was but a waif.
  
• 1.pear of anguish (BOB)
  - Torture device, shaped roughly like a pear
  - - One inserts it while collapsed into an orifice of the intended victim
  - - - One then turns the screw which forces the segments of the “pear” open
  - - - - Until the desired result is attained or the victim maimed
  - - It was allegedly used as such
  - - - For heretics, in the mouth
  - - - For homosexuals, In the anus
  - - - For women who had congress with the devil: In the vagina
  - - Wesley wishes to add: OW! -Wesley 11/9/07 5:12 PM
  - - Fortunately, Wikipedia seems to be under the impression that the device was never actually used
  - Why now?
  - - On TV: Criminal Minds
  

Nov 8, 2007 (THU)

• 7.mickey rourke (KRIS)
  - He’s an actor!
  - He was in Wild Orchid with the smokin’ hot Carre Otis.
  - - There are rumors that the sex scenes with Rourke and then-girlfriend Otis were not simulated.
  - He was Marv in Sin City.
  - He’s also going to be in Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler, replacing Nicholas Cage.
  - But why are you searching for him?
  - - He got busted in Miami for a DUI. While riding a scooter.
  - - A Vespa, to be precise.
• 6.virtual dissection (BOB)
  - There is software that can give you the joy of discovering frog anatomy
  - - Without all the squishiness
  - Why now?
  - - No clue
  - - - It has the TV spikes at 4 and 7pm GoogST
  - - - - I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was advertised on 5th grader
  
• 5.factors of 121 (BOB)
  - One, eleven, and 121
  - Why now?
  - - On The $64,000 Fifth Grader
  - - - Question was: “How many factors does the number 121 have?”
  - - - - Contestant guessed two
  - - - - - Correct answer is three (the contestant missed 11)
  - - - - - - Saved by student Nathan
  
• 4.lipo in a box (KRIS)
  - Yes, it’s a home liposuction kit.
  - No, not really; it’s panties (from Shapewear) that make you look like you’ve had liposuction.
  - So…yeah. Panties. FTW.
  
• 3.estonia (BOB)
  - Republic of Estonia is a country in northern Europe
  - - Former Soviet republic
  - - - Its capital is Tallinn
  - - - It has a population of about 1.35 million
  - - - Its people are closely related to the Finns, and therefore our own Kris Johnson
  - Why now?
  - - On Fifth Grader Charades
  - - - Question was: The country of Estonia is located on which continent?
  - - - - The answer is, of course, Europe
  - - - - - Contestant was afraid to go with his guess, which was Europe
  - - - - - - Copied of Nathan’s paper; Nathan wrote Europe
  - - - - - - - That’s good for $175,000
  
  
• 2.paul revere s ride (BOB)
  - On the night of April 18, 1775, Paul Revere and William Dawes were instructed by Dr. Joseph Warren to ride from Boston to Lexington to warn John Hancock and Samuel Adams of movement by British troops, ostensibly to arrest them and to seize weapons
  - - Thereby saving tasty beer for future generations
  - - - Thanks, Paul Revere
  - - In 1860 the events were fictionalized and written into a poem to stir patriotism in the face of the looming Civil War
  - Why now?
  - - On High Fifth Graders
  - - - Question: The poem “Paul Revere’s Ride” was written by what 19th century author?
  - - - - Contestant dropped out with $175,000
  - - - - - The correct answer was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• 1.you can t hurry love lyrics (KRIS)
  - More lyrics!
  - You can’t hurry love, no you just have to wait. Love don’t come easy; it’s a game of give and take.
  - Please don’t sue us.
  

Nov 9, 2007 (FRI)

• 3.my life lyrics (BOB)
  - Song by Billy Joel
  - - On Don’t Forget the Lyrics
  - - - There were 9 missing words, for $500,000
  - - - - Contestant got them right
  - - - - - “you to tell me it’s time to come home”
• 2.lee haney (KRIS)
  - He’s a bodybuilder.
  - Current joint world record holder for Mr. Olympia titles (eight of ‘em).
  - Why now?
  - - Probably because he launched a website, LeeHaney.com, so you can buy supplements and get all not fat.
  
• 1.natavia lowery (KRIS)
  - Personal assistant to real estate broker and rock music manager, Linda Stein.
  - Allegedly killed her boss with a yoga stick.
  - I don’t know what a “yoga stick” is.
  - Stein was, according to Lowery, very verbally abusive and blew marijuana smoke in her face.
  - - I don’t know if she got the munchies afterward, but it seems that she did anything but mellow out.
  

Nov 10, 2007 (SAT)

• 1. marilyn martinez (BOB)
  - Stand up comic
  - - Performed with latina troupes such as the Original Latin Divas of Comedy
  - Why now?
  - - Died on Nov. 3 at age 52
  - - - of complications from colon cancer
  - - - - Good night, funny lady
  

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